Raccoon and Lobster

When I made the almond cake for Tim last week, I asked him if he had any whipped cream in the house.

Tim: Nope. I can bring a ziploc bag? Spray a little?

Spray a little? What did that even mean? It took me several minutes to parse that statement.

When I informed him that we didn’t serve whipped cream from a can in this house, he replied that it was the only source that he knew of. Somewhere in Wisconsin, there is apparently a pasture of cows with nozzles on their udders, grazing peacefully on hydrogenated palm kernel oil and nitrous oxide.

Since he was coming over for dinner tonight, I couldn’t resist taking a little jab by baking a whipped cream cake.

Whipped Cream Cake from Rose’s Heavenly Cakes

All the recipes in Rose’s Heavenly Cakes come with weight measurements in ounces and grams, and baking with gram precision just feels like serious business.

8 oz or 225 grams cake flour (I subbed 200 grams AP flour and 25 grams corn starch)
2 teaspoons baking powder
3/4 teaspoon salt
12 oz or 348 grams heavy cream
3 large eggs or 150 grams
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 cup plus 2 tablespoons or 225 grams baker’s sugar

Preheat oven to 375°F. Grease and flour a 10 cup tube pan. Sift together the flour, baking powder, and salt and set aside. In a medium bowl, whip the cream until it forms stiff peaks.

Whisk together the eggs and vanilla and gradually beat into the whipped cream. Add the sugar and beat until fully incorporated. Fold in half of the flour mixture and then the other half until just combined.

Scoop the batter into the pan and use a spatula to smooth the surface. Shake the pan gently to remove any large air bubbles and bake for 30-35 minutes or until a cake tester comes out clean.  Let cool for 10 minutes before inverting.

Serve with strawberry coulis, meyer lemon curd, or

Blueberry Compote
3 cups fresh blueberries
1 cup sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice

Combine all ingredients in a medium saucepan and bring to a boil over high heat. Reduce the heat and simmer for 15-20 minutes, until the mixture thickens. Remove from heat and let cool. Blend in a blender or food processor until uniform. Cover and refrigerate.

And…we’re done. The final bundt was an adaptation of Kiss My Bundt’s Red Velvet Bundt, as published in the LA Times and found via The Food Librarian’s epic Thirty Days of Bundt.

As I am apparently in a storytelling mood, here are a few random factoids before we get to the recipe.

Numero uno: I am, and always will be, against food coloring for the sake of food coloring. So, no dye.

Item II: It used to be the case that Devil’s Food Cake and Red Velvet were the same thing. The names used to reflect the ginger color that resulted from a reaction between (alkalized) cocoa powder and acidic buttermilk. Then at some point they diverged and Devil’s Food Cake meant chocolate cake and Red Velvet was cake with red food coloring and eventually there was not so much chocolate in the Red Velvet cake, and plenty of red dye instead.

C) There is no C.

Four. Funny story about Dutch processed cocoa, aka alkalized cocoa. When I made my first batch of Red-Headed Stepchild Velvet Cupcakes, I used non-alkalized fancy cocoa powder, because The Boyfriend is a chocolate snob. When I offered him a warm cupcake fresh out of the oven, he said “It’s good,  I can still taste the baking powder.” Well, you can clearly see from the recipe that there is no baking powder, so I retorted hotly that in the course of running errands that day, I had run out of time to travel to the nega dimension to buy nega baking powder to counteract the complete absence of baking powder. Later, I realized he was tasting the tang of buttermilk (which, by the way, tastes nothing like baking powder) and I switched to alkalized cocoa. Thus ended his Monday-morning backseat guessing of the cupcakes.

Extra Chocolatey Not-Red Velvet Bundt Cake adapted from Kiss My Bundt recipe

I upped the cocoa powder in this recipe quite a bit and ended up with a rich chocolate cake. You can adjust back down to one tablespoon of cocoa for the original recipe or split the difference and go with two.

1¼ cups vegetable oil
1 cup buttermilk
2 eggs, room temperature
1 teaspoon white vinegar
1 teaspoon vanilla
2½ cups flour (I used 11.5 oz)
1¾ cups sugar
1 teaspoon baking soda
¾ teaspoon fine salt
3 tablespoons high-fat cocoa powder (I used Valrhona)

Preheat oven to 350°F. Grease and set aside 10 cup bundt pan. Combine oil, buttermilk, eggs, vinegar, and vanilla and beat well. In a separate bowl, whisk together remaining ingredients. Gradually add the dry ingredients to the wet mixture, stirring until just combined. Pour into bundt pan and bake until a tester comes out clean, about 45 minutes. Cool in pan for 10 minutes before inverting. Let cool at least one hour before frosting.

Cream Cheese Frosting

8 ounces cream cheese, softened
4 ounces unsalted butter, softened
½ teaspoon vanilla extract
1½ cups powdered sugar, sifted

Beat the cream cheese, butter, and vanilla until well combined. Gradually add the powdered sugar and beat until well combined and frosting is light and fluffy. Apply frosting. Let me know if you figure out how to do this on a bundt shape without looking like a hot mess.

Friends, our long national fatmare nightmare of gluttony is almost at an end. No longer shall our lives be filled with the delectable scent of freshly baked cakes, no more shall our stomachs strain against the unrelenting tyranny of a waistband. Freedom is coming, friends. But not today. Today, we eat.

Brown Sugar and Chocolate Chip Pound Bundt with Maple Glaze via Epicurious, with thanks to the Food Librian.

12 ounces semisweet chocolate chips
3 cups all purpose flour (I used 13.8 oz)
2 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
3/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup unsalted butter, room temperature
1½ cups packed brown sugar (I used about half dark and half light)
2½ teaspoons vanilla extract
1 teaspoon maple extract (omitted in this cake)
4 large eggs
1 cup buttermilk

Preheat oven to 325°F and grease your bundt pan. Mix chocolate chips with a dusting of flour and set aside. This helps prevent them from sinking in the batter. Whisk together the flour with baking soda, baking powder, and salt and set aside.

Beat the butter and brown sugar together until light and fluffy. Have you noticed how there really is very little variation in technique between the cakes? Add the vanilla and maple extracts and then the eggs, one at the time, beating well. Gradually add the buttermilk, alternating with the flour mixture, beating until just combined. Stir in the chocolate chips and pour into your bundt pan. Bake until a cake tester comes out clean, about 55 minutes.

Cool for 10 minutes in the pan before inverting and then drizzle with

Maple Glaze

1 cup powdered sugar
3 tablespoons maple syrup
2 tablespoons whipping cream
1½ teaspoons instant espresso powder (omitted in this cake)
milk

Combine all ingredients in a small bowl and whisk until smooth. Add milk by ½ teaspoon increments to adjust the thickness of the glaze if necessary. Remember that the glaze will become more liquid when it comes in contact with the warm cake.

Normally a fifth wheel is considered a bad thing, but when we are talking about wheels of cake, it’s a different matter completely. I’m really proud of how this cake came out, it’s one of my favorites so far. The Boyfriend had inquired about the possibility of a lemon-flavored cake, and so I went out in search of Meyer lemons. It took a few tries, but I finally located a stash and I needed a recipe that would put them in their best light. The last citrus cake acquired most of its flavor via the syrup drizzled on it, and I wanted bigger and better things for my hard-sought lemons.

When I considered making a lemon curd to go with the cake, it was Stacy who suggested using the curd as a filling. I wasn’t sure if the curd would survive an hour in the oven without getting soaked into the cake, but the allure of a warm, gooey punch of lemon was too much to resist.

As for the cake, the final recipe was sort of a hodge-podge. Google introduced me to a Lemon Poppy Seed Cake whose ingredient list looked very similar to the Orange Cream Cheese Pound Bundt I made on Monday. This cake had a little bit less butter, and some baking soda added for leavening, which made it a lighter variant. One might even call it a cousin to the previous pound bundt. I expanded on that and added more lemon flavor and switched out half of the sour cream for crème fraîche to make it even lighter. It’s pretty good by itself, but paired with the lemon curd filling it really turns into something special.

Is it bad form to post extremely flattering reviews of your own food? Granted, the person who wrote this has been bribed with warm cake for 5 days in a row, but I was still tickled pink when he said

There should be a warning about the lemon curd – it’s so awesome it could cause injury.

That’s a smart guy who will be getting more cakes in the future. And this is a cake that I’ll definitely be making again.

Meyer Lemon Curd

1/4 cup Meyer lemon juice
zest from said lemons, about 1 tablespoon
1/4 cup granulated sugar
1 large egg
4 ounces butter, cut into 4 pieces

Heat a saucepan with about an inch water over medium high heat. In a metal bowl large enough to function as a double broiler, whisk together the juice, zest, sugar and egg. When the water is simmering, turn the heat down to low and place the metal bowl over the saucepan. Whisk the lemon mixture until it thickens about 5 to 6 minutes. You should be able to coat a spoon and draw a clean line on the back with a finger. Remove the bowl from the heat and stir in the butter one piece at a time, letting each piece get fully incorporated before adding the next. If you want, you can force the curd through a sieve to remove the zest, but I liked the extra flavor it added and the mixture was not lumpy, so I let it remain. Transfer the curd to a clean container and layer plastic wrap directly on the curd surface to prevent the formation of a skin. Keeps for up to 2 weeks.

Meyer Lemon Cake

3 cups flour (I used 13.8 oz)
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/8 teaspoon salt
1 cup butter, room temperature
3 cups sugar
2 teaspoons vanilla
6 large eggs
½ cup sour cream
½ cup crème fraîche
3 tablespoons Meyer lemon zest
1/4 cup Meyer lemon juice

Preheat oven to 325°F. Grease up a 12 cup bundt pan and set aside. Whisk the flour, baking soda, and salt together in a bowl. In a separate bowl, cream the butter and sugar together until light and fluffy and then add the vanilla and the eggs, one at a time. Whisk together the sour cream, crème fraîche, zest, and juice. Gradually add the flour mixture and the lemon mixture to the bowl, alternating between wet and dry ingredients and mixing only until just combined.

Pour most of the batter into the bundt pan, reserving roughly 2 cups worth. Using a piping bag or a freezer bag with a corner cut off, pipe the lemon curd in a circle on top of the batter, making sure to keep away from the inner and outer edges of the pan. Cover with the remainder of the batter and bake until a cake tester comes out clean, about 1 hour and 10 minutes.

My cake rose to be exactly level with the top of my 12 cup bundt pan. Slightly harrowing.

I also got a few small spots that stuck to the pan, so I dusted this cake with extra powdered sugar.

And if a little bit of the curd filling gets smooshed by the layer of batter on top and touches the edge of the pan, this is what happens. It’s not a big deal. Maybe use more powdered sugar concealer. No one will notice. Or care.

Even though there is about 3/4 of a cup of lemon curd filling, it looks like a lot less in the cross section. Rest assured, the lemon curd offers a sweet, tangy bite that will not disappoint. Just ask Joe.

When I asked for cake suggestions for the remaining cakes, I had no idea that someone would try to set me up as an unwitting accomplice to murder.

My “friend” Jackie asked for two cakes: a Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Bundt and a Monkey Bread Bundt. Innocent enough on the face of it. What you don’t know is that both of these recipes have walnuts as an ingredient. An ingredient that is conveniently not listed in the title. An ingredient that her boyfriend is conveniently deathly allergic to. An ingredient that an unwitting baker might cheerfully include in a recipe and serve to Jackie’s loving boyfriend and thus unknowingly become the agent that carries out her deadly plan. Of death.

mgp, if you are reading this, look out behind you. She will not be foiled so easily.

Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Bundt…of Death adapted from Epicurious

1 3/4 cups all purpose flour (I used 8 oz)
2 teaspoons pumpkin pie spice
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
3/4 teaspoon salt
½ cup unsalted butter, room temperature
1 1/4 cups sugar
3 large eggs
1½ cup canned pure pumpkin
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/3 cup whole milk
3/4 cup semisweet chocolate chips
3/4 cup chopped walnuts

Preheat oven to 350°F. Grease your bundt pan and set aside. Combine flour, spice, baking soda, baking powder, and salt in a bowl and whisk together. In a separate bowl, cream the butter and sugar together until light and fluffy. Add in eggs one at a time. Beat in pumpkin and vanilla. Gradually beat in the flour mixture, alternating with the milk. Fold in the chocolate chips and death walnuts.

Pour batter into bundt pan and bake until tester comes out clean, about 55 minutes. Let cool for 10 minutes before removing from pan. Dust with a mixture of powdered sugar and cinnamon. Serve.

I don’t know about you guys, but I was starting to suffer the effects of retinal bundt fatigue. I really love the bundt pan I have, but it’s my only one, and the impact of it’s awesome swirly shape was getting lost when I was making a new cake with it every day. And if I was getting tired of it, you probably were too.

What’s a girl to do? Buy a new bundt pan from Surfas, of course. Just for you, Internet.

After the sugar explosion that was the orange pound cake with syrup and glaze, I wanted something a little less saccharine, and a little less embiggening. This cake was perfect. The Boyfriend is a huge fan of blueberry muffins, and this is a warm, cakey, blueberry muffin fit for a giant. Perhaps a sand giant, or a fire giant. Do fire giants like blueberries?

Blueberry Buttermilk Bundt Cake adapted from Epicurious

3 cups all purpose flour (I used 13.8 oz)
1 tablespoon baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
1 2/3 cups sugar
3/4 cups unsalted butter, room temperature
3 large eggs
1 tablespoon grated lemon zest
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
3/4 cup buttermilk
2 heaping cups frozen blueberries

Preheat oven to 350°F. Grease the bundt pan and set aside. Whisk the flour, baking powder and salt together. In a separate bowl, cream the sugar and butter together until light and fluffy. Beat in the eggs one at a time and then add the lemon zest and vanilla. Gradually add the flour mixture, alternating with the milk, beating until just combined. Fold in the blueberries and pour into bundt pan. Bake until tester comes out clean, about 1 hour (it took me 1 hour and 10 minutes).

Cool for 10 minutes in the pan before removing. Dust with powdered sugar and serve. If you rush, you may drop the bundt pan on the table and the cake inside may crack and then you will feel like a fool.

When The Boyfriend realized that Food Librarian was doing thirty days of bundts, he immediately asked if I would be planning on following her lead. We agreed on 7 days of bundt as a compromise. Following the success of the Cinnamon Chocolate Bundt, I realized that I needed something amazing to follow it up with.

I settled on making Smitten Kitchen’s favorite pound cake for the second bundt, but there were so many chocoholics who would be eating this cake that I was nervous about its reception.

Oh Ronnie, you fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders – The most famous of which is “never get involved in a popularity war with Pioneer Woman” but only slightly less well known is this: “Never bet against Smitten Kitchen when baked goods are on the line.”

I had nothing to fear. Unless…they’re all lying to me…

Also! In making this cake I discovered a hot tip. Instead of discarding the wax paper wrapper on the butter sticks, you can use it to grease the bundt pan. Fast, easy, and less messy than the usual ways. Thank me later.

Orange Cream Cheese Pound Bundt adapted via Smitten Kitchen

1½ cups unsalted butter, room temperature
8 oz cream cheese, room temperature
3 cups sugar
6 large eggs
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
3 cups all purpose flour (I used 13.8 oz)
1 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon grated orange zest

Preheat the oven to 325°F. Grease up your bundt pan. You want to use a 12 cup bundt. I used a 10 cup, and even though I made three little baby bundtings in cupcake form with the excess, the cake rose well over the height of the pan.

Place the softened butter and cream cheese in a bowl and beat until smooth. Add the sugar and beat until the mixture is whipped to a light foamy texture. There’s no leavening agents in this cake so you want to get the air in there now.

Beat the eggs in one by one and then add the vanilla, flour, and salt all at once. Beat until just combined.

Pour batter into the bundt pan and shake to distribute evenly. Bake until a tester comes out clean, about 1 hour and 15 minutes. Cupcake sized bundts were done after 40 minutes.

You can serve this as is, or you can go a step further and baste the cake in

Orange Syrup

1/3 cup orange juice
1/3 cup sugar

stir to combine and pour over the pound cake when still warm and allow it to soak in.

and then layer it with a

Sugar Glaze
6 tablespoons powdered sugar
4 tablespoons milk

stir to combine and drizzle over the cooled cake. If you look carefully you can see the glaze puddled at the bottom of my cake. With other bundt shapes, it’s a little bit less messy.

Are you ready for National Bundt Day? The Food Librarian is. And thanks to her, I am too. She is baking a bundt for every single day of the month leading up to November 15, and the itch for me to bake grew stronger and stronger until I suddenly found myself with a bundt in the oven as well. The Boyfriend and I are very excited.

He requested chocolate cake, and so chocolate cake it was. I was under some time pressure so I looked for a fast and easy recipe that didn’t require room temperature ingredients or other planning ahead. This recipe is actually from the Food Librarian’s bundt archives. Apparently she made it four times in one week, she liked it so much. With that kind of endorsement, how could I not try it? The Boyfriend had thirds. Several friends had seconds. There was not enough cake to go around. I think I can safely say that it was a success.

Cinnamon Chocolate Bundt Cake via The Food Librarian

1 cup water
½ cup vegetable oil
½ cup butter
5 tablespoons cocoa powder
2 cups (I used 9.3 oz) all purpose flour
2 cups sugar
½ teaspoon salt
½ cup buttermilk
1 teaspoon baking soda
2 large eggs, beaten
1½ teaspoons cinnamon
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Preheat oven to 375°F.  In a small saucepan, bring the water, oil, butter, and cocoa powder to a boil. Meanwhile, whisk together the flour, sugar, and salt. Add the boiling mixture to the flour mixture and stir well. Add in the buttermilk and baking soda. Combine the eggs, cinnamon and vanilla in a small bowl and add to the batter. Stir until just combined. Pour into a greased bundt pan and bake for
30-35 minutes or until a tester comes out clean. Cool for 10 minutes in the pan before removing.

Edit: The bundt pan is from Williams-Sonoma and despite what it says on the site, it is available in stores.