Raccoon and Lobster

Submitted to Yeastspotting

I coarsely grated the cheese for this bread, and it ended up disappearing into the dough after being cooked. Instead of distinct bites of cheese, there’s more of a general cheesiness infused into the dough even though I used almost double the amount of cheese in the man-bread recipe. If you want distinct bites of cheese, stick with cubes of cheese about 1/4″ instead of grating.

Cheddar Potato Jalapeño Chive Bread adapted from the Ultimate Man Bread

8 ounces potato water
18 ounces bread flour
10 ounces sourdough starter
2 tablespoons yeast
2 teaspoons salt
6 ounces potatoes, cubed and cooked
8 ounces sharp cheddar cheese
2 scallions, diced
1 jalapeño, minced and pan fried

Combine the water, flour, starter, and yeast and knead into a shaggy dough. Let rest for 5 minutes. Add the salt and knead for 5 more minutes. The dough should come together enough for you to continue kneading using the french fold for 8-10 minutes. Add in the potatoes, cheese, scallions, and jalapeño and knead until evenly distributed. Shape into a rough boule and cover and let rise until double it’s original size, about 90 minutes to 2 hours. You can also choose to refrigerate the bread overnight at this point to further develop flavor and continue as normal.

Divide into 2 loaves and shape into boules. Let rise in a brotform until it increases in size by half and the dough doesn’t fully spring back when poked, about 60 minutes, more if the bread has been chilled.

Turn out the boules, slash, and bake at 475°F for 15 minutes and then turn down to 450°F for 20 minutes.

Shortly before I succumbed the the death plague that landed The Boyfriend in the ER for a few hours, I managed to bake up a loaf of bread. I knew that chances were good that he had managed to infect me with his germs with all of his abnormal insistence on breathing so I stocked up on groceries and made up some household staples so that when I got sick as he was getting better we would have something to eat besides dog food and ice cubes.

I halved the dough intending to make two loaves but it didn’t look as they were going to rise enough to fill two loaf pans, so I rolled them into 2 round boules and dropped them into a pan. This amused me greatly because it looked an awfully lot like a butt (which, by the way, is a totally legitimate bread shaping technique). I’d tell you that I was already a little feverish at this point, but to be honest I would be giggling even if I wasn’t coming down with something that would eventually swell my lymph nodes up to the side of golf balls.

The recipe is Nancy Silverton’s Pain de Mie, baked in a regular loaf pan instead of a pullman pan. Pain de mie is a pretty dense bread, and I’m not entirely sure that I’m sold on it as a day to day sandwich bread since I prefer an airier loaf, but the flavor was good and it worked very well as french toast the next morning.

Pain de Mie adapted from Nancy Silverton’s Breads from the La Brea Bakery

makes one 9×5 sandwich loaf

7 oz water
8 oz milk
2 teaspoons yeast
24 oz bread flour
1 tablespoon sugar
1/2 tablespoon salt
1 tablespoon butter, softened

Combine the water, milk, yeast, flour, and sugar in a bowl and mix for 2-3 minutes. Add the salt and butter and continue mixing until the dough is smooth and elastic, about 10 more minutes. Place into an oiled bowl and cover until the dough doubles in volume, about 45 to 60 minutes.

Turn the dough onto a floured surface and gently deflate. Roughly shape into a boule and cover with a cloth and let rest for 15 minutes. If you want to do any shaping, cut the dough into the sizes you need before you shape the dough and let it rest.

Grease a 9×5 loaf pan and set aside. Shape the dough into a loaf and place into your loaf pan. In my case, I simply formed two boules and dropped them into the pan. Let the dough proof one last time until the dough just barely springs back when poked, about 90 minutes at room temperature. Of course if The Boyfriend has seen fit in his fever delirium to turn the heat up to 85°F, it may take a lot less time and you may end up with slightly overproofed bread that has a dimple in the butt.

Bake in a preheated 475°F oven and bake for 40 minutes, or until the bread sounds hollow when tapped and has an internal temperature of 200°F. You may need to tent the bread with aluminum foil after 30 minutes to prevent the outside from browning too much.

Submitted to Yeastspotting

By any reasonable metric, this bread should have failed. From the very beginning, signs pointed to a miserable culinary defeat. For starters, it’s adapted from a recipe by Nancy Silverton called Pumpkin Bread. It has no pumpkin in it. Ostensibly, this is because she thought pumpkin bread sounded more appealing than yam bread. I disagree, having flipped over the recipe hundreds of times. And anyways, the vegetable commonly sold under the name yam in the US is not a true yam but a sweet potato, and sweet potato bread sounds pretty darn good to me.

The recipe also calls for you to cook 2 lbs of yams but you only require 10 oz for the bread for 2 loaves. I was able to get 14 oz of pulp out of 1 lb of cooked yam. What about the rest of the yams? Nancy gives no answer. I hope you have a sack. For yams. A yam sack.

Also! She called for whole wheat flour (do not have) and cumin (do not want). And there are two 6-10 hour retarding periods in the fridge instead of the usual one. Plus the dough is really wet and sticky and annoying to work with. And I forgot it on the counter until 4am. With all the tweaks, adjustments and mistakes I made, this should have been a terrible loaf of bread.

It was not a terrible loaf of bread. The crust is soft and the crumb was much lighter than I expected. Even using more sweet potato than the recipe called for, it didn’t taste as strongly as I had expected, but it added a nice complexity and made the house smell amazing.

Sweet Potato Bread inspired by Nancy Silverton’s Pumpkin Bread.
makes one 1.5lb loaf

8 oz of cooked yams (bake at 400 degrees for about an hour until soft)
6 oz of water
4 oz of starter
2 tablespoons raw wheat germ
12 oz white bread flour
1.5 teaspoons salt

Peel the yams and mash them with a fork. Let cool. Combine water, starter, wheat germ, yam, and flour and mix or knead for 4 minutes. The dough will be wet and quite sticky, if you’re doing this by hand, use a spatula. Add salt and knead for another 10 minutes, or until the dough is elastic and stretchy and can pass the windowpane test. I would post my own helpful picture here but this was a pretty messy dough and I didn’t want sweet potato chunks clogging up my camera forever. You understand, don’t you?

Put the dough into a well oiled bowl and cover with plastic wrap. Here is where I veer off course. Instead of refrigerating for the first ferment (6-10 hours), I forgot it on the counter. For about 8 hours. Fortunately for me, my sourdough starter is slow to rise to begin with and this dough with all the added sweet potato makes that process even slower. In the 8 hours, it just managed to double.

Too tired to fiddle with it, I simply moved it from the counter to the fridge. When I got up, I preheated the oven and took the dough out of the fridge to warm up again. Of course, it turns out that I had a dentist appointment that limited how much time I could let it rest, so I simply shaped it into a boule which deflated it quite a bit and threw it into the oven after about an hour. Fortunately, it was behaving appropriately, not quite bouncing back from my inquisitive jabs. After 30 minutes at 450°F, I had my bread.

Submitted to Yeastspotting

If you want to be less addle brained about this process, the recipe calls for 6-10 hours of fermentation in the fridge after kneading. Then you remove the dough, which should have increased in size by half, and let it rest at room temperature for an hour. Then you gently deflate and roughly shape and let rest for 15 minutes, after which you make your boule. Place into a proofing basket cover with plastic again and ferment for another 6-10 hours. Take the dough out and let it continue proofing some more until it increases in size by half again, then pop into the oven.

Or you could just wing it like I did.

Nancy Silverton’s Rosemary Olive Oil loaf. Recipe here.

Probably my best attempt so far. Nicely swollen, open crumb, no failures to speak of.

Albuquerque Hilton restaurant, take note. This is what real bread looks like.

Baking shenanigans experienced a lull of late because of the weather, but the lack of bread and bread-like foods in the house has hit unacceptable levels. I made a batch of flatbread, in large part because the idea of having to put on pants to go to the store seemed especially repugnant today. Once I mentally declare a pants-free day, I make every endeavor to stick to it.

Flatbread
makes 8 flatbreads about 7″ wide

13 oz bread flour
10 oz boiling water
1 tsp salt
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 tsp instant yeast

Combine about 2/3 of the flour with the water, mix to combine and set aside until cool, about 20 minutes (the boiling water cooks the starch and makes the dough a lot easier to work with). Combine remaining ingredients and then work in cooled dough. Knead until smooth and uniform. Dough will be sticky to the touch. Cover and let rise about 1 hour.

Divide dough into 8 pieces and let rest for 20 minutes.  Roll into 7-8″ circles and cook over a medium heat skillet with no oil. Pop any especially large air bubbles that develop. Flip after about one minute. I like my flatbread with a little bit of crunch so I wait until there are just a smattering of black spots amidst the browning.

Submitted to Yeastspotting

To turn these into a meal, make a sandwich with some meat of your choice, whatever veggies you have hanging around, and an appropriate mixture of condiments. Remember that goal here is to avoid having to put on pants and go to the store.

I ended up with red peppers

chicken, guacamole and ranch dressing. A little skimpy.

Oh wait!

Tomatoes from the front yard!

Nice save.

So good I just ate right there in the kitchen. Without pants.

I got this “request” two days ago from a glutton friend

less computer, more kitchen!

and indeed, I had been slacking off of late. So much so that the boyfriend, starved for pastries, was forced to make his own sweet dough. Quelle horreur!

After making a few buns and rolls, he was finished and there was still a sizable quantity of sweet dough left. Two days later it was still there, so I did what any rational person would do and made it into cinnamon rolls.

This sweet dough is much easier to work with than the Rich Man’s Brioche because it has a much more reasonable flour:butter ratio. Sadly, this also makes it less fingerlicking rich.

Sweet Dough

1 cup plus 2 tablespoons whole milk, warm
1/2 oz fresh (cake) yeast or 1 (1/4-oz) package active dry yeast
1 lb 2 oz bread flour (about 3 3/4 cups)
1/2 stick unsalted butter, softened
3 tablespoons superfine granulated sugar
2 teaspoons salt
2 large eggs

Combine ingredients and work into a smooth, shiny dough ball using the french fold as shown in the video. Shape into a boule and let rest until doubled, about 1 hour.

Form into rolls or buns with desired fillings. A combination of cheese and deli meat makes a fantastic savory bun. I recommend salami and fourme d’Ambert.

Cinnamon Rolls

Roll dough into a flat sheet, approx 3/8″ thick. Pour on top and then dust very generously with sugar and cinnamon. Roll up into a tube and slice. Let rest 20 minutes and bake at 400°F until edges are golden but dough is still soft, about 10-12 minutes.

Cream Cheese Frosting

4 oz cream cheese, softened
1/2 stick butter, softened
sugar and vanilla to taste, I used about 4 heaping teaspons of sugar and just splashed in some vanilla.

Beat until smooth. Slather copiously over warm buns and serve immediately.

subbmitted to Yeastspotting

Even though the proofing process did not go as planned and the resulting loaf was a lot denser than it should have been, the flavor of this bread was great. La Brea Bakery’s rosemary olive oil loaf was always a favorite of ours so making it at home was a no-brainer.

Rosemary Olive Oil Bread
makes two 1.5lb boules

Day 1

18 oz water 70ºF
12½ oz sourdough starter
½ cup wheat germ
34oz white bread flour
3½ teaspoons sea salt
1 tablespoon chopped fresh rosemary
4 tablespoons olive oil

Combine water, starter, wheat germ and flour and let rest for 20 minutes. Add salt and and knead for 5 minutes, then add rosemary and olive oil and knead an additional 5 more minutes. Cover tightly with plastic wrap and let rest until double, 3-4 hours.

Turn out onto a floured surface, cut into 2 pieces, gently deflate, tuck under edges, cover and let rest for 15 minutes. Shape into boules and place into cloth lined bowls or proofing baskets if you have them (Clearly I need some!). Cover and let proof at room temperature until it rises about an inch, 1.5 to 2 hours.

Cover tightly with plastic wrap again and refrigerate for 8-12 hours, or a max of 24 hours.

Day 2

Remove dough and let it warm up to 58ºF, about 2-2.5 hours. This is the point where the boyfriend turned on the broiler and accidentally baked half of the loaf onto the proofing cloth.

I was able to pry most of the cold dough off and reform the boule and put it in to bake as soon as the oven had heated up to the requisite 500ºF. Surprisingly, it turned out pretty good for so much mishandling. The final proof not going as planned meant that the crumb was a lot denser than it should have been and it was a heavy loaf, but the flavor was good and the crust came out very well.

Bake for 40-45 minutes at 450º.

Submitted to Yeaspotting

The second loaf, which should have been the flagship of this batch did not have the excuse of an accidental half-baking, but I absentmindedly popped it into the oven without scoring it at all, and so two enormous air bubbles formed almost immediately and the rest of the loaf laid there like a flat, sad, sack.

Belated scoring was not enough to revive it and to add insult to injury, the largest air bubble began to brown and then blackened as it got so close to the oven walls. Not a banner day for bread baking.

The true failure crumb in a sadness loaf:

Update:

Pictures of a much improved loaf from a later batch

This is seriously the most fun I’ve had baking ever and the oven isn’t even on yet. If you have a Kitchen-Aid mixer, I don’t care how lazy you are, you NEED to do this.

The recipe is taken from a posting on The Fresh Loaf and it has very good directions, but what it will not tell you is how much naked glee you will experience watching the dough get the living crap kicked out of it.

Jason’s Quick Coccodrillo Ciabatta Bread

500g bread flour
475g (~2 cups) water
2 tsp. yeast
15g salt

The first thing you’ll notice is that this is a very very wet dough. At first there doesn’t seem like there is any hope that this is going to make anything more than batter. But have faith.

Combine ingredients and beat with paddle until combined. Let rest for 10 minutes. Then turn the paddle up to 6, which will seem like a ludicrous speed. I thought I had it on high when it turns out I just had the speed at 4. The dough is going to start climbing up the paddle after about 4 minutes, and that is when you switch to the hook. When you remove the dough it’s already going to be developing some gluten strands. In the third picture you can see my hastily scrawled notes while I’m mixing and it says “sneeze” in the bottom left corner. Folks, the consistency of the dough at this point is that of a sneeze. I’m sorry. It is. You’re going to touch it to get it off the paddle and go “Ew!” At least it’s not going to be as messy as most bread baking because the dough is so sticky it will cling together.

After a few more minutes of using the dough hook on 6, the dough is going to start cleaning the bowl and form an actual shape. Ten minutes in, everything is going to be spotless and you will catch your mixer trying to walk itself off the counter. It’s going to be loud and the noises it makes are going to be hilarious. You’re going to see the gluten developing and finally understand what those crazy bread bakers are talking about when they say gluten strands. There are going to be some seriously loud, wet whaps as dough gets flung onto the bowl and peels itself off. You’re gonna have to turn your shutter speed up to crazy levels just to get a motion blur picture.

After about 19-20 minutes of mixing, the dough is going to start climbing up the hook and will have completely peeled off the bottom. It looks like a well formed ball in motion but when you stop the mixer, it’s all gonna fall back into a wet sticky puddle again. As you remove it from the hook, it’s gonna be so wet and sticky and stretchy that it gets thin enough to see through.  Pouring it into a well oiled container means long white sheets of dough stretching the full height between the mixing bowl and the counter. I wish I had a picture for you, but somehow the boyfriend managed to sleep through the entire ruckus and it is impossible to do this and hold a camera at the same time. You’re just going to have to make this bread yourself and play with your food. I’m telling you, this is  cool.

Cover the dough and let it rise until tripled, about 2.5 hours. (Please see footnote, both times I have baked it today it has taken about 1.5 hours for the dough to triple.) That’s where I am in the recipe. Update to come in about 2 hours*.

95 minutes to triple today folks! You are gonna love the way this puffball dough falls out of the container. Empty on to a very well floured surface, cut into 4 pieces, spray with oil and flour very very well. Cover with a well floured cloth and let rest for 45 minutes. Now is the time to heat up your oven to 500°.

And batch #1 is in the oven! Due to the necessity of splitting up the baking, and the fact that the yeast is being so active today, the first batch is going in at 30 minutes, and the second will go in at 50 minutes. Splitting the difference as it were. Flip your dough upside onto parchment paper or a well floured peel, stretch it out to about 10″, and slide that sucker into the oven. See you in 20 minutes for the reveal…

Look at this ridiculous oven spring!!! Ye gods!

GOAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLL!

And here is batch #2 for comparison. I turned the heat down to 450° for the last 10 minutes.

So it took 4 people about an hour to devour all the loaves and I started making another batch tonight. I guess it’s safe to say that this recipe is a success. This will be submitted to the bread baking roundup at Yeastspotting.

*Of course, in matters of baking, it takes however long it takes. So updates to come whenever this dough has decided 2.5 hours has passed. Edit: On the second batch it’s taking a little over an hour for the tripling as well. So WATCH YOUR DOUGH to tell you when the right time has passed.

It’s been 11 days and there are three containers of sourdough in my fridge, two in the oven and one given away. I have dreamt about sourdough several times this week. My kitchen smells of sourdough. I smell of sourdough. There is a layer of flour covering everything I own. It is definitely time to make some damn bread.

This is using Minnie as a starter.

Basic Country White Loaf from Breads from the La Brea Bakery
Makes two 1.5lb boules

12 ounces starter
2 lb 2 oz white bread flour
1 lb 2 oz water 70° F
1/2 cup raw wheat germ
4 1/2 tsp salt
Vegetable oil

Adjust the water temperature up by 1° for every degree the room temperature is below 73° F. Combine water, starter and flour and knead 5-7 minutes until dough is elastic and takes on the shape of a boule. Cover for 20 minutes for autolyse, which is a fancy word for “upload pictures and post to your blog.”

Autolyse complete, you want to sprinkle the salt over the dough and knead again for 5-7 minutes until the dough resembles a baby’s buttocks. Additional description leads me to conclude that baby’s buttocks can be stretched, like tanuki testicles, until they are paper thin and see through. Creepy. Place into a large oiled glass or ceramic bowl and cover with plastic wrap. Let rest in 70-75° room until double, about 3.5-4 hours. Realize belatedly that you have a very long night ahead of you.

After dough has risen, turn out and cut in half. Slap each piece around a little to deflate and make a rough loaf shape. Cover for 15 minutes. Rock loaves and wrap the dough into boule shapes with a smooth skin that stretches over the entire surface. Place into proofing baskets or onto a couche. Proof again for 1 hour. Too tired to make a couche/couch joke, go back to sleeping on the sofa until your hour is up.

When dough has increased in volume by 1/4, place in fridge for 8-12 hours for retarding. Finally stagger off to bed.

After you wake up, take out the boules and let them warm up and double in size for the final proof, approx 3 hours.  Preheat the oven to 500° approx 1 hour before baking. When the dough is ready, slash the boules and bake for approx 45 minutes at 450°.

Submitted to Yeastspotting