Raccoon and Lobster

Arthur: kisses on the first date. Is kind of a slut.
Rocky: coy, delicate flower. Bashful and demure.

Rocky: loves the beach
hates the tub

Arthur: sleeps in the tub
thinks waves are out to get him

Arthur: used to be on to the sauce. Has been dry since September.
Rocky: parties with Kate Moss. Too proud to seek help.

Rocky: concerned that insufficient capital buffers exist to properly cushion another set of catastrophic events.
Arthur: lost it all and became a hobo during the stock market crash. Lives in a shanty in Hooverville.

Rocky: possesses a sizable quantity of butt fluff

Arthur: no digital camera has the resolution to capture the true majesty of his rump. His fluff is actually a highly prized source of fine downy hair that is woven by skilled artisans into shawls so fine they can pass through a wedding ring. Possession of products made by these fibers is banned in the EU.

Rocky: born without vertebrae. Genetically speaking, is a close relative of the hagfish.
Arthur: has sleep apnea that he self treats with a patented device.

Rocky: worked hard, pinched pennies, saved up to buy a scooter.
Arthur: moonlights as a manwhore to pay the bills.

Rocky: clinically depressed. Awaiting the glorious day when all suffering will cease.
Arthur: high on illegal pharmaceuticals

Extremely fond of haberdashery.

Unless it’s an octopus.